10 Years of Failure

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When I got my degree in English, part of me had hoped to one day become a writer. So when blogging became popular, I thought it would be an opportunity for me to try my hand at it. I was working a job I didn’t like, and all over the internet people were getting rich doing almost anything. I said if they can do it, I can do it!

So in 2007, I began my first blog. I wanted to earn a passive income and thought about what people would be interested in. I said, people like dirt and gossip, so I decided to make that the topic of my first blog. I blogged daily and expected instant success. It was very hard for me because I don’t even like dirt and gossip. So after a short period without getting any readers or response, I quit.

My next idea for a blog came a much later, when I decided to write about my failed dating experiences. At the time, I was looking for my soulmate and kept running into frogs instead of princes. I thought it would be an excellent topic, but I wasn’t happy. So after a few months of explaining horrible date after date virtually alone, I gave up again. I didn’t just give up on the blog, I gave up on dating as well!

My third attempt was to write about the funny things that happen while working in a public school. The students were completely uninterested in the education, and did unimaginable things on a daily basis. But the blog was challenging because I wanted to remain completely anonymous as to avoid identification. Finally, I decided to stop blogging because once again, I hadn’t attained instant success.

My confidence was crushed after each failure, paralyzing me for long periods– it’s not easy being dedicated when you’re talking to yourself. I thought everybody has already done the things I wanted to do. In the end, I decided blogging was impossible and that nobody would ever be interested in anything I had to say. I gave up on the idea of blogging all together!

In my depression, I began to paint. Painting was my way of relieving stress and creating something beautiful inside my chaotic life. This was my hobby and I felt proud of myself. Occasionally, I posted what I made on Facebook, and people would like and comment on them. Often people would suggest I try selling them, but I had already proved myself an unsuccessful entrepreneur. I ignored their remarks and continued to paint and store my paintings in my closet. Unfortunately, each time I moved, I would end up throwing them away; but I somehow always accumulated more. Some of them were so precious that I couldn’t throw them out. My collection started very small, but quickly grew out of control. I desperately needed to do something with the paintings. So I resurrected the idea of a passive income and researched on the Internet how to sell art. It talked about marketing and social media, craft shows and online sites, and good old blogging!

Now that I’m a little bit older, and a little bit wiser; I realize that Rome wasn’t built overnight. In fact, all of my blogs had failed for the same reasons–I wasn’t committed nor passionate about my ideas. And I knew nothing about social media, networking, or marketing.

In conclusion, even though I still haven’t sold a single painting, I believe I am finally on the right path. Now I can say I’m an artist, writer, and entrepreneur; even if it’s still in the making! Fortunately, I’m at a different stage in my life, where the motivation comes from my heart and nothing else.

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